I’m called Ben, I’m 10 years old but will be 11 soon.
I wanted to tell you a short story about the time I went to see a therapist called Elizabeth.
I went to see her because I had seen an attack in my local town square, it upset and haunted me, at home, at school, everywhere.
I remember Elizabeth asked me “What made you come to ask for a Tipi session with me?“.
I told her that my big sister had already come to see her, and it had helped her, so when my mum asked me if I wanted to try it, I was so happy to give it a go.
And I am so glad I went.
I told her how I didn’t like the feeling of being afraid and she asked me to think back to a time when I felt most like that.
Of course, the time I felt most afraid was when I was seeing the attack happen.
I described it as if it was happening right at the moment. I was waiting in the car in the square. I saw someone on the ground, I could hear people shouting and arguing, and 2 people kicking this man as he was on the floor. I was so terrified.
Elizabeth asked me if I felt any sensations in my body as I thought of this moment. I told her my heart was racing, my stomach felt sore, and my head felt really tight.
She asked me to focus on those feelings and feel them flow.
I did that. They changed a bit and then they calmed down. It didn’t last long.
We repeated this one more time.
This time I didn’t feel anything like that in my body. It’s like something had just changed.
It had worked.
Because of that moment, I don’t feel anxiety anymore.
Before I saw Elizabeth, as soon as anyone spoke loudly in my family or it looked like an argument was about to break out, I would start to feel like I was back at the scene of the attack. It kept coming back to me, in flashbacks, especially when I was in school, in class or in the playground.
That just doesn’t happen anymore.
If I sometimes think about the attack, I don’t feel afraid or upset.
I can keep using the technique not just for the memory of the attack but also for other things I might be scared or worried about. For example, I was scared about getting into a small boat, but I was able to change that feeling quickly.
Learning how to do this has really helped me and I tell my friends about it too. Let me tell you.
When an emotion arrives, you need to close your eyes, try to feel two or three places where you have sensations that are not normal, then you let the body do its thing. It can last for a very short period of time, and when you don’t feel anything anymore you can re-open your eyes. You can then ask what made you afraid if it doesn’t scare you anymore. If it comes back, you can use the emotional regulation again, and it will usually go away.
Try it and see what happens.
