For as long as I can remember, I’ve always had a fear of being on the phone in certain situations, especially if the call was important or if it involved a disagreement or conflict with anyone. Without knowing, I would break out in a sweat, shake and find it difficult to articulate myself properly.
Then one day, I met my Tipi trained counselor, Joana. She explained the concept of emotional regulation and I gave it a go.
Once we were comfortably settled in my living room, Joana asked me to describe a typical situation. Then she asked me to relive it with my eyes closed, describing everything I felt. The sensations began in my solar plexus, getting stronger until they moved to my back, then to my throat, and then they were manifest in my breathing. Suddenly they subsided.
I reopened my eyes with a smile…
Gently, Joana got me to relive the situation again, but focusing on the sensations I was experiencing. This time the feelings were very, very slight. Then I felt totally serene. I reopened my eyes and Joana suggested that, in the next few days, I should focus on my behaviour during telephone conversations.
I’ve never been afraid to talk on the phone again but, more than that, I realize now that the fear is gone that I’m a different person, that I can express myself in a much more constructive and nuanced way.
